


That Mask You Use

by BlueBamboo



Category: Joker (2019)
Genre: Anger, Despair, Desperation, F/M, First Love, Friendship, Hatred, Love Triangles, Pining, Shameless Smut, Smut, True Love, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:33:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22899568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueBamboo/pseuds/BlueBamboo
Summary: She appeared from seemingly thin air. She was perfection. The most beautiful thing he'd ever set eyes on. To Arthur she was worth ten times her weight in solid Platinum.  And the best part.She was his. Completely, wholly his....Until that fateful night Thomas Wayne's eye fell upon her.CHAPTER 6 UPDATED 11/10
Relationships: Arthur Fleck/Original Female Character(s), Arthur Fleck/You, Thomas Wayne/Original Female Character
Comments: 7
Kudos: 62





	1. Chapter One

Down an invisible line on a desperate lonely street was where he walked. Feet dragging, as though he was struggling to muster the energy to pick them up properly. He was a tall man, a little over 6 foot, though from the way he hunched his shoulders you'd never know it. Stoic facial features were well shadowed behind the extensive mask of paint gracing his chiselled face. A thick, slightly unruly mop of chestnut brown hair slicked back beneath his favoured boisterous afro. Green, he liked the colour green. It was fresh and vibrant. A colour that simply oozed energy and optimism.

The complete opposite of Arthur Fleck. 

He had a red wig too, but it was a rare occurance for him to be seen with it. Arthur heaved a sigh as he finally reached the small shop flanked between an already buzzing city diner and a small, locally run charity shop. It was barely 8am but the the worn down, pitiful shop was open. Casting his artichoke green gaze across the small, cigarette smoke hazed expanse of the shop he suckled on his inner lower lip. A small pang of sympathy radiating within.

Every shelf bore a red sale sticker, every item marked less than half its retail value. It was a common occurance now. Small businesses were falling like flies.

A light thud behind the counter brought his attention back to the present. He could see the back of the portly shopkeeper hastily packing boxes out back. Arthur had to force a smile onto his face, the artificial lipstick grin wouldn't cut it this time. With a leather bound hand he jingled the signal bell.

The Hispanic shop keeper craned his neck, puffing out a halo of cigarette smoke. He offered the beaming clown no greeting, only slapped a large plastic sign into his awaiting palms with a grunt before he waddled back to his packing. Arthur shouldn't have been surprised. He'd lost faith in humanity a long time ago, yet, foolishly he still held a glimmer of hope that he'd come across someone decent for once.

Apparently not. 

Just when he thought the human race could sink no lower the universe would stick its oar in just to spite him.

Awful... Simply awful. 

Sliding his boats for shoes across the dusty floor he yanked open the splintering wooden door. Slipping out into the cool October morning. The sun was just beginning to make its ascent over the skyline, basting the chaos filled streets of Gotham in a luminous orange glow. If not for the spillage of rotting binbags from overflowing bins lining the streets he might say it was a beautiful morning.

Eyeing the dumped garbage collecting in the streets with disdain Arthur pondered the last time he'd seen a waste collector... It had to be nigh on two months.

From what he'd heard they'd gone on strike, the barely legal wages and constant abuse they had to deal with daily had finally pushed them one step too far. And it wasn't only bin collectors, public upkeep had gone to pot too. Food wrappers, drinks containers, plastic cups and old newspapers lined the streets, publin parks and green lawns were up to the knees. It was a haven for the rodents and vermin which flooded the city thanks to the ever increasing piles of rotting waste. And with vermin came foxes. Both of which harboured fleas... Which carried nasty diseases.

Arthur, however, couldn't have cared less, as long as he and his mother remained in good health to hell with the rest of the world.

9am.

The previously dead streets were beginning to filter to life, trickling slowly at first as the odd person passed him. Soon the streets were flowing with life ebbing in a thousand different directions. A whir of colour passing him as he switched comfortably to auto pilot and began his routine. The sign wasn't overly heavy but after several hours of slinging it around his arms and shoulder burned something fierce. He spun it once more, then it was gone.

It took several seconds for him to collect what was happening, but when he felt two hands shove against his chest and his back collide with the gritty pavement he knew. 

"Hey!!"

He yelled, flopping on his front in an attempt to grab an ankle. 

"Stop them!"

They'd already taken off. Hoisting himself unsteadily to his feet he followed as fast as his clumsy boots would allow him too. Down the street and across the crossing he chased them, breathless and slightly sweaty as he entered the alleyway.

It was a dead end. 

They were just kids. 15 or 16 at most. He opened his mouth...

THWACK. 

He heard the crack in his shoulder as he hit the ground. The adrenaline coursing through his blood stream blocked the majority of the pain in his face, but not the blows to the body.

One after another, no difference in impact. In fact each one seemed to pack a touch more force. They were laughing manically, he couldn't hear it. All he could hear was the pounding of blood in his ears. 

Finally after what seemed to be a lifetime the beatings came to a halt. With one last kick to the groin the youths tossed the splintered remains of the shopkeepers sign over his battered body and ran.

His chest heaved with the weight of his breaths. It hurt to breathe. It hurt to move. It hurt to think. He could only lay there while he caught what little of his breath he could. His insides burned, like he'd swallowed a lit match. 

Gathering the frayed remnants of his strength he pulled himself up. Limping his way back through the streets. Ha-ha's was just a few minutes away. He knew she'd be starting her shift soon. He barely made it to the top of the stairs before collapsing before her in the dressing room.

It all went black after that. 


	2. Chapter Two

It was the sound of gentle, almost worried chatter which slowly roused him. Only a slither of sunlight managed to breach the discoloured netting before the windows, but that slither was enough to send his already pounding head into overdrive. Arthur groaned. Raising a partially bruised left hand to his tender cheek bone. Wincing slightly at the sensation. 

"What happened, Arthur?"

She had the softest, sweetest voice and the effect was always the same. Calming. 

"... I got jumped."

He sensed movement across the room, the loud clack of her heals against the rough bare concrete floor. Before he could even begin to get up she was beside him, dazzling him with the sparkle of her form hugging, Sequin clad burgundy gown. 

"Don't you dare, stay right there, Mr!" 

Her tone was gentle but demanding and coupled with the feather light touch of her fingertips pressing lightly on his chest he was powerless to go against her. A small, lopsided smile graced his face as he allowed his aching body to fall back against the worn couch. 

"Yes Ma'am." 

The response was playful, making her titter as she knelt beside him. Bright grey eyes flickering across his face briefly. Her features marred with a worryful expression 

He hated seeing these emotions on her, she was far too beautiful. 

She questioned whether she could tend to his wounds. He hesitated only briefly before giving his nod of permission. Arthur stiffened when her nimble, slender fingers began working on his buttons. Breath hitching in his throat every time her skin accidentally brushed against his. There was that familiar knot forming in his lower abdomen, that ache within him arising. 

He wanted her, oh how he wanted her. 

But he pushed that thought away, locked it tightly in the back of his mind. He didn't want to risk frightening her away. As he always seemed to do. 

He watched her intently as she pushed his shirt from his shoulders, her gaze widening as it roamed across his form. He was certain he was botched in deep purple bruises. 

"You've not been eating, Artie..." 

Artie. He loved her nickname for him. 

Her voice was barely a whisper, but due to their proximity he heard her loud and clear. Averting his ashamed eyes to his suddenly extremely interesting feet he shrugged. Times were hard, it was feed his mother or feed himself. 

Arthur loved his mother... Going hungry was the only option for him. He'd never admit that to her, his pride was all he had. 

"I'm alright, Katie." 

With a subtle shake of her head she got back to examining him. Hands sliding over his injuries carefully, once she was satisfied he'd not broken any bones she stood, rich red hair cascading over her shoulder. 

"... I'm worried about you. This is happening more often... I hate seeing you like this." 

Arthur gave a heartless chuckle. 

"That's Life..." 

"Stay, come and watch the show tonight. We can grab dinner after, my treat... We're overdue a catch up anyway." 

Inside he was screaming.... Longing for her in the worst way, and she was oblivious. 

"Shouldn't I be buying you dinner?“

She was sat at the dressing table now, perfecting her make up. In Arthur's humble opinion she didn't need it. She was a naturally beautiful woman. He gathered his strength, releasing a low groan as he sat up stiffly. His body may be battered, but as always she lifted his spirits. 

Finally she replied. Her words falling from pillow like lips stained the deepest red. 

"Nope. My treat. You deserve something good, Arthur. Let me do it for you."

She didn't know how many times she'd saved him... In response he smiled, watching her shift to the edge of the stool and pat the empty space beside her. 

"Here, sit next to me. I'll take that make up off."

His wig was removed first, she closed the gap between them and ran her fingers through his mid-length curls to bring some life back to them, she grabbed the make up remover from the dresser and applied a generous amount to a cottonwool ball. The strokes of her hand was concentrated across his face. She had a routine and stuck to it, eyes first. Then forehead, checks, lips and finally the neck. 

"Katie?" 

His voice cracked. Humming her response she raised her chin to meet his heavy gaze. Arthur's mind realed. He wanted to kiss her, wanted to slam her against the dresser and finally take her as his own as he'd done in his fantasies countless times. Confessing his feelings had been so easy when he'd been mentally making love to her. 

She was smiling at him softly. In his head he was kissing her passionately, in reality he was tongue tied. 

"Earth to Arthur..."

Smile. 

It was all he could do. He raked his shaking fingers through his hair, removing the already open shirt to replace it with his casual dress shirt, cardigan, which hung from his lean frame and a pair of beaten black loafers. 

"Sorry, I was miles away."


	3. Chapter Three

He trudged along behind her as she descended the stairs attempting and miserably failing to keep his eyes above the outlined curve of her waist. The way her hips swayed as she walked was mesmerising. She paused, turning her torso to offer him a soft smile. His heart thumped wildly, so wildly he wondered if she could hear it.

Apparently she couldn't, her hand reached out in the dimness of the entrance. Slipping within his own significantly larger palm. Nails lightly trailing the pattern of his finger prints.

He loved her... He loved her with every miniscule fibre of his being... And couldn't bring himself to tell her.

He was so weak it was pathetic...

Katie's grip on his hand tightened as they spilled from Ha-Ha's into the street. Arthur took the opportunity to lace his fingers between hers. Thumb breezing ghostly circles on her inner wrist.

If he died now, he'd be a relatively happy man.

Their gait was leisurely, not much more than a slow saunter. Her quite happy to walk in the comfortable silence that had fallen between them, silver gaze fixed on the path before them. Him sneaking quick glances at her, reassuring himself she was actually there, not just a figment of his often over active imagination. 

"Thank you, for always being so good, so kind to me, Kate. I'm quite sure I'd be in madness if not for you... You're the only good thing I've got."

Shaking her head with a wide grin she squeezed his palm. 

"What are friends for, Arthur. I'll always be kind to you and I'll always be there for you. Always... That's a promise."

Tears welled behind the carefully placed mask, but he bit them back so fast that it would've been impossible for her to catch them. Before they knew it they were stood breath the flickering haze of the streetlight, outside the theatre where she was booked each Friday night. Just as she was at Ha-Ha's she was one of the most popular bookings at the city theatre.

Working not as a clown, but as an entertainer. Or, as she put it an exotic dancer. 

She'd started as a burlesque dancer a little over three years ago and it wasn't long before she alone was raking piles of crisp bank notes into the little entertainment company. Her bubbly, playful personality and sexy demeanour was a hit amongst the high flying men of Gotham.. Word spread like wild fire. She was something of a local celebrity by the time the highest of the high began sniffing around her.

They separated upon entering the grand building, the quick embrace wasn't anywhere where near fulfilling enough for him but he shoved that away as he watched her quickly scurry off, disappearing through a deep mahogany painted door. He felt empty.

It was mad. They were still in the same building yet he felt a million miles away from her. Desperate to fall back to his place beside her. To hold her in his arms once more. 

He could feel that irrational panic bubbling beneath the surface. 

No. 

No, no. 

Not now. 

Please... 

With panic came anxiety. And then it was inevitable, what followed was laughter. That horrible, stomach wrenching laughter. It wasn't a laugh that was joyous or light hearted. It was a forced, pained laugh sobbed out from a tightly constricted chest. His throat closed, forcing him to physically choke on his own giggles.

Slapping his hand across his mouth Arthur could do nothing but wait it out. His entire body ached from the attack, stomach muscles burned. Throat scratched and sore. Jaw aching. Incessant laughter slowly faded to slow giggling, every now and then a soft hiccup escaped him.

He wanted to cry. But he didn't. He simply ignored the ignorant staring, wiping his sweaty palms against his cotton trousers as he regained control and made his way quickly towards the grand seating room. He didn't bother to remove his jacket when he seated himself in the back nor did he bother to stop his knee from bouncing.

He'd seen her routine before, the confident strut... Her sultry, achingly beautiful voice. The way her hips circled slowly, sexily. The dancing... Sweet fucking Jesus. The dancing. She drove him wild. 

The curtain dropped. 

As did Arthur's mouth. 


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please do comment and leave kudus. Comments are important people...

As expected, Arthur was beyond wound up when the show came to an end. He'd shifted uncomfortably in his seat, occazionally palming his stiffened member with an inaudible groan when the pressure became too much for him to bare. The vision of her on stage, clad in nothing but stockings, a garter, silk panties and a matching bralet was now emblazoned in his mind. No doubt awaiting to be added to his next fantasy.

He waited for her outside, beside the ticket booth. She slinked from the crowds moments later, her red hair which only moments ago was left loose to frame her heart shaped face now pulled into a messy bun. Any trace of make up had been meticulously removed, as had the outfit which sent his heart into panic attack mode.

Right now she appeared like any other girl next door. 

Enveloped in an oversized black sweater, form fitting brown jeans and a pair of sneakers on her small feet. Slinging her leather hold all over her shoulder Katie offered him a wide grin.

"Shall we eat? I dunno 'bout you but I' m starving..."

After all that gyrating and writhing he wasn't surprised. 

"Yeah... Where do you... Uh, where'd you want go?"

Katie paused for a moment, features thoughtful as she pondered. 

"Have you ever been to Zizi's?"

Arthur had certainly heard of the little Italian restaurant on the Quay riverside. But no, he'd never had the pleasure of dining there. It was a touch more upmarket than he considered himself... Well. A lot more upmarket. Besides, he wouldn't be able to afford a glass of cola in there, let alone an entire meal.

"I've heard of it..."

Plump pink lips puckered into a glorious smile. 

"Well, it's my treat... You deserve it after all you've been through." 

She placed her hand on his arm and he had trouble forcing the next sentace from his mouth. 

"You really need that to do don't...." 

Her chuckle was nothing less than a melodic angelic choir to Arthur. She led him through the bustling town and down the small warren of alleyways that brought them out directly beside the riverbank. And the scene was beautiful. Down, just above the surface where the moonlight danced on the slow flowing water flitted brightly coloured fireflies. The air here was one of the few places that remained crisp and fresh, a slight natural water scent seeping through the haze. 

Arthur smiled, raking back a strayed lock of his brown hair when she graciously opened the door. Motioning with a soft smile. 

"After you, Mr Fleck." 

No. No, no. This wouldn't do.. Arthur reached out with his slender hand. His long slim fingers taking the door handle from her cold grasp. 

"No, ma'am... After you."

Obliging, her fingers stretched out and briefly ghosted the sharp angle of his cheek before she entered the warmth of the eatery. Followed closely by him. A twenty something male waiter led them to a small, rather cosy table for two light by candlelight in the corner of the room. Arthur was both nervous and excited at what the night could hold for him. 

For them... 

He sat opposite her watching with interest as she scanned the menu. He'd learned a lot about her in the time he'd known her, the fact she was a major foodie was well known. He already knew she'd go for the lasange... But she was so darn beautiful sat there innocently chewing her still slightly stained lip. 

... He wanted her. He ached for her...

It was sad really. 

"I'm going for the Lasagne... What about you?" 

Her confirmation pulled a chuckle from deep within his chest. Thankfully it didn't spiral into anything more. Observing the menu Arthur hummed softly, thinking to himself he'd order the whole damn menu if he had the money to pay for it.

He suddenly felt very inadequate. It should be him taking her to dinner.

Not her treating him. 

"Yeah. Same." 

It was there in that very moment Arthur Fleck made himself a promise. 

The very next time they went out to dinner she would be his girl... And he would be so much more than the Arthur Fleck sat before her now.

Oh yes.

He smiled widely, his hand reaching for hers.

He would be a new man. 

A man she could love. 


	5. Chapter 5

Thier wine glasses clinked, sending a glitter ball of deep rouge sparkles dancing across the table as thier meals were placed before them. His mouth watered at the sight.

He couldn't remember the last time he'd eaten so well.

Frozen ready-made meals had been the norm for a while now. Not that he ate them all that often. His mom was the one he was more concerned with feeding.

It was nice to not have to worry about her for a change. He noted, remembering his mother's ardent request she would be fine for the evening... So long as he was back before ten. 

Arthur's sparkling green gaze settled upon the woman opposite him.

Her own gaze cast downwards at the rubicund liquid she was absently swirling around her glass. His hand automatically reached out, pausing briefly before the pads on his soft finger tips delicately ghosted over her knuckles. She yielded a soft sigh, barely there smile only he could understand. 

"Are you okay?" 

His voice was soft.

As though he were trying exceedingly hard to put himself 'out there' from within the comfort of his shell. She appreciated his attempts, though, even if he was a little out of his comfort zone. 

"I'm fine, Artie... I was just thinking... Well, more like pondering, actually." 

She paused, taking a sip from her glass, allowing the thick red substance to coat her mouth before swallowing with an approving hum. 

"I was wondering whether you would accompany me to the annual Autumn Gala at the Wayne Manor. We... As in us dancers, are always invited to the change of season gala I wondered if you, well... You wanted to... Come with me?" 

Purposefully she avoided mentioning the word date, not wanting to rattle his already freyed nerves. But from the way his pale skin glowed a rather fetching shade of soft pink as he processed her words she guessed it made no difference. Concealing her fond smile behind her wine glass she watched him fumble over himself. His cuteness amplified. 

"Me? You want me to accompany you... To The Wayne's Gala..." 

"why not you, Arthur? You're sweet, kind... Funny... Very charming. Of course I want you." 

Arthur's eyes momentarily bulged from his sockets, his mouth hung ajar. But he soon collected himself and returned her gentle smile. 

_She wants me?... She WANTS me!!!_

"I'd be delighted to join you." 

Her smile spread across the beautiful features of her face, Silver-green eyes dancing mirthfully. 

"I'm delighted to have you. I always am." 

Once thier belly were brimming with good food and divine wine she paid, slapping the money Arthur snuck into the bill book back into his palm. Making him chuckle lightly as she shooed him away. Beneath the flicker of dull orange Street lamps they strolled. 

Arm in arm. 

Perfectly in sync. 

As always they decided upon the short cut through the public park. It was beautiful during the autumn with the trees displaying those fiery colours he knew she adored. Man made light was sparse, so guided only by the mystical silver glow of the abnormally large full moon and glittering stars he strayed from the brick path. 

His large palm enveloping hers as he led her across the grass. 

Footsteps muffled but not quite silent. 

Her questions went unanswered as he peered over his shoulder, blowing a lock of his dark mane from his vision. They paused before a willow tree, its vibrant purple leaves swinging softly in the breeze. Somewhere high up within its branches she could clearly make out the distinctive jingle of windchimes. 

"Where are we?" 

"What, you mean to tell me you've never explored beyond the pathways? You know, the great beyond and all that." 

Laughing loudly she pushed him away slightly. Not noticing his intense, longing gaze burning through her skin. 

"Gotham Square hardly is the great beyond." 

And yet, his eyes. They sparkled at her like she'd never seen them sparkle before. Like they held a secret longing to burst free from his confines. 

"That may be true, darling. And yet.. Even Gotham has it secrets." 

He pulled back the curtain of willow branches, and immediately fixed his gaze on her. Watching her jaw drop slightly. 

"Arthur... It's... I've never seen anything like this!“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave kudos and comments. It's much appreciated.


	6. Chapter 6

He took her by the hand.

Angular frame towering over her as he led her gingerly through the swaying branches. It was simply stunning, she could find no other word for it.

Behind this seemingly empty waterfall of willow leaves lay a small but exquisite little park. With grass seemingly greener, rose bushes in colours she'd never before seen and a impressive white wooden bandstand cast aglow with glittering fairy lights woven around the trailing rose vines. 

Allowing himself to fall slightly behind her, arthur dipped his mouth to her ear.

"Only a handful of people in Gotham know about this place... I'm lucky enough to be one of them." 

"Artie, it's beautiful." 

Smiling, his grip on her hand tightened as he led her towards the grand bandstand. His free hand reaching out to softly enclose around a soft peach rose. The tips of its petals fading to a pure white. 

He plucked it from the plant with ease offering it to the flame haired woman with a subtle smile raising only the corners of his mouth as his lips parted hesitantly. 

"Not as beautiful as you.."

Though his voice was but a whisper, she heard him. For a moment time seemed to pass by them as they stood studying one another. 

"Would you do me the honour?" 

Arthur gestured behind him, to the vacant space of the bandstand. 

"There's no music..." 

"ah, always so pessimistic, my lovely one... Have a little imagination."

Taking her by the hand he pulled her gently to the centre of the bandstand, admiring the way the glinting lights brought out different shades of red in her hair as he wrapped his arms around her waist, shuffling closer to her. 

He began to move to a melody only he could hear, his body moving gracefully as he encouraged her to fall into step with a gentle grin. It took her a few clumsy attempts to catch his rhythm but once she'd found it she slipped into it easily. They swayed gently as one, his grip on her surprisingly strong. 

He was pulling her in, his hypnotic gaze lulling her into a sense of security she'd never experienced before now. Butterflies began to pool in the pit of her stomach at the sight of his bright eyes darkening intensely. Simultaneously they slowed and stilled. Arthur seemed to hesitate, his eyes darting between hers and her parted lips. 

He leaned in slowly, then aborted as his courage finally gave out. His lips met the soft, slightly cold skin of her cheek. 

She was shivering. 

Cursing himself silently, he immediately slipped out of his large cardigan, lips pursed as he slid the thick woolen material over her shoulders. 

"Its getting late.. Let's get you home." 

Katie nodded, disappointment rapidly replacing the prior butterflies. Nonetheless, she agreed with him. It was getting on for almost 11.30. She knew he had to get back to help his mother with her bedtime routine... Even if she wasn't quite ready for the night to end. 

Silently they slipped back through the willow branches, rejoining the path in the centre of Gotham Park. The flickering glow of the street lamps illuminating their trail home. He accompanied her through the estate. It was decidedly more upmarket than his, posher, nicer. 

The streets seemed cleaner, buildings were more visually appealing. She came to a stop before a familiar apartment block. 

"Thank you, Katie. For tonight. I didn't realise how much I needed this." 

"Everyone needs a break sometimes Arthur, and you definately deserved the treat! You've been so good to me these last couple of years. I probably wouldn't have lasted a week at Ha-ha's if not for you... You've made me feel so welcome here." 

She glanced up and chuckled at the sight of his ear to ear grin. 

"You're too cute sometimes, Artie."

"And you're too good, far too kind for this shit city..." 

He trailed off, raising his palm to lightly caress her jawline. His voice lowering to an incoherent octave. 

"You know. For the first year I wondered if you were real. I'd been dealt nothing but shit for so long I wondered if you were a figment of my imagination. Something I'd created to cope... I was afraid to talk to you.. To touch you, incase you just melted away... And it wasn't because I might've looked crazy... I'm not crazy... It was because I couldn't bear the thought of losing you.. You make every day so much brighter, Kate... Because of you I can cope with the shit that I seem to continually attract.. I can cope with the fucking beatings and the muggings, I can cope with the general ignorance. I can cope with the unfairness of the world... Just because of one amazing person... I can't put into words what I feel for you... No words exist... I just know now that I've found you... I can't let you go... Not even for a moment. " 


End file.
